i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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