i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
