Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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