Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
