i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
