Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
