best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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