It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
