ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
