she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
