1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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