I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
