im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
