i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
