I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
