it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
