I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
