Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
