He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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