mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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