Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
