she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
