508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
