apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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