drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
