"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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