Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
