I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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