Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
