just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
