and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
