Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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