9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
