No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
