My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
