i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
