I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
