Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
