I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
