I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
