Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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