what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
