The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
