If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
