you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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