Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
