Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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