He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
As shirtless as possible
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
