you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We have started to decorate penises.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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