Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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