I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
4 words: hood of his car
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
